Domestic violence is an equal opportunity offense. Studies show that the incident rate for domestic violence in same-sex partners is the same as that for heterosexuals. One-quarter to one-third of gay men and lesbians have been involved in physically violent relationships.

The dynamics of same-sex relationship violence are the same as those for heterosexuals: abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional or psychological. Often, the abuse occurs in a cyclical fashion.

Same-sex couples can be charged with the same domestic violence crimes as heterosexual couples (see pgs 12-13). The punishments for the crimes are the same, but the emotional punishments may be greater. In addition to the possibility of a lengthy jail or prison sentence, costly fines, batterer classes, professional license repercussions and possible civil penalties, if the accused has been involved in a same-sex relationship that no one knows about, he or she may be ultimately “outed” to his or her family, co-workers and friends. Anonymity is no longer an option.

Ideally, law enforcement and those in the community should be sensitive to the ongoing struggles of gay men and women. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. If arrested, it is important to contact an experienced attorney who will not judge you or your case, but will be there to guide you through the legal process with the sensitivity and understanding you deserve.