According to California law, domestic violence (sometimes called domestic abuse or intimate partner abuse) means causing or attempting to cause bodily injury or sexual assault against a spouse, a former spouse, a person you are dating, a person with whom you are living, a person with whom you used to live or a person with whom you had a child.

The legal definition of intimate partner includes wives, girlfriends, husbands, boyfriends and same-sex partners. Therefore, any intimate partner, no matter the sex, can be a victim of domestic abuse.

“Abuse” is legally defined in very broad terms. Each of the following actions, among others, can lead to your prosecution: hitting, slapping, punching, kicking, threatening with a weapon, threatening without a weapon, hitting with an object, hair pulling, burning, cutting, stabbing and stalking. No matter how slight the physical touching was, you can be prosecuted for domestic violence.

Because of the broad legal definition of abuse, many different actions can result in domestic violence charges. You don’t have to consider the action as abuse in order to be prosecuted. Likewise, your partner does not have to think that the actions were abusive. Any physical touching can be prosecuted.

One big misconception is that the person reporting domestic violence can decide whether or not to press charges. Your partner does not decide whether to press charges. Once the police are involved in a domestic violence situation, you and your intimate partner no longer have the choice of whether or not to prosecute. That decision is up to the prosecutor. The prosecutor alone will make the decision of whether or not to file charges.

In those cases where the purported “complaining party” does not wish to prosecute it is important to contact an experienced criminal lawyer right away. A skilled defense attorney may be able to contact the prosecutor to prevent the filing of the case. NOTE: This should NEVER be attempted on your own. Any statements that you or your partner gives can and will be used in court against you, and this is never a good thing. The only prudent course of action is to let a lawyer handle this for you.